irresponsibleeyouth: The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
beyonces-butt: I hate it when you’ve been really on edge for a while and then you have a breakdown over a little thing and everyone thinks that you’re getting super upset about not washing your hair
satans-fabulous-blog: morphingly: brightredkettle: are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
teachmyskin: JK Rowling walked onto the set of a Harry Potter film and saw Daniel Radcliffe looking extremely beat up. She thought his makeup was real and asked, “Oh my gosh, what happened?” He turned to her and said boldly, “As if you don’t know!”
unfollower: when I was a kid my best friend was from this super conservative christian family who didn’t let her listen to anything but gospel music and she wasn’t allowed to watch PG movies until she was 13 but now she’s a polyamorous bisexual atheist who follows her favorite bands around on tour all the time so I guess it all worked out
peevesies: i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life
shout out to the 90% of my followers that dont like reblog or message me at all but still follow me for some reason
someone fucking date me this isn’t funny anymore